Flori-duh

Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 07.31.17

* So... who is in charge of Homeland Security now? Asking for all the immigration lawyers who need to fill out the "named defendants" section of their filings. [Politico] * The Gawker effect is real. Maybe Buzzfeed will save us? [Washington Post] * Florida law will allow parents to object to the content of their children's textbooks. I would be in favor of this law if it also required Florida residents to READ children's textbooks before they object. [Law Street News] * We're now at the point where people are reporting on seating arrangements at cabinet meetings. Trump makes us pathetic. [Newsmax] * Here's some stuff about trash human, Pete Rose. [The Score] * Here's some stuff about trash human, Joe Arpaio. [AZ Central]

By Elie Mystal
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 08.21.15

* Due to the speed at which she was driving, Caitlyn Jenner could face a vehicular manslaughter charge related to the fatal chain-reaction car crash she was involved in earlier this year. The ESPY-winning celeb's fate is in the district attorney's hands now. [NBC News] * Surprise! David Sweat, one of the New York inmates who led authorities on a three-week manhunt after he escaped from prison in June, pleaded not guilty to felony escape charges at his arraignment. He'll likely get a few years added onto his life sentence if he's convicted. [Reuters] * Oh baby: Valeant is buying Sprout Pharmaceuticals, the maker of the "female Viagra," for a cool $1 billion. Skadden Arps and Sullivan & Cromwell, the firms repping the companies, must be turned on by the deal. [DealBook / New York Times; Am Law Daily] * Prosecutors in the David Messerschmitt case are seeking a 25-year sentence for Jamyra Gallmon, the woman who stabbed the DLA Piper associate in a robbery-gone-wrong and left him for dead in a D.C. hotel room. Her attorney is asking for 18 years. [Legal Times] * The Florida Bar is recommending disbarment for a group of attorneys accused of arranging a DUI arrest for a rival attorney during a high-profile trial. You've got to admit this set-up was a particularly bold move, even for Flori-duh lawyers. [Tampa Bay Times]

By Staci Zaretsky
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 06.19.15

* Ouch! The Florida Supreme Court just unanimously told a lower court judge to STFU and GTFO. Judge Laura Watson, who was elected to her position in 2012, was summarily ousted from the bench for shady conduct that took place before her judgeship commenced. [Sun Sentinel] * The ABA postponed making a decision on whether it'll approve a merger between Hamline Law and William Mitchell Law. Not to worry, everything will be okay. Come on, as if the ABA would let a failing law school completely crash and burn. [MPR News] * We mentioned this week that Hank Greenberg won his A.I.G. bailout suit, but we didn't get around to the part where Davis Polk got quite the judicial spanking from an "irritated" judge -- and the firm wasn't even named as a defendant. [DealBook / New York Times] * Uh oh. It looks like Ellen Pao just got "powed." Judge Harold Kahn has tentatively ruled that Pao must pay about $276,000 in trials costs to Kleiner Perkins. (Special thanks go out to ATL commenter Paul Harvey for this clever little quip.) [Digits / Wall Street Journal] * Micah Green, a prominent lobbyist at Squire Patton Boggs, is headed for greener pastures at Steptoe. He's the latest rainmaker to leave, which makes us wonder if the firm will be satisfied with only being able to make it drizzle. [PowerPost / Washington Post]

By Staci Zaretsky